Dear my loved ones, I am very sorry for having to leave the world so early. You must be shock, so am I... Don't know what to write now... But please do not moan, as I clearly knew that God brought me to Africa for a reason, and I must have met the reason before I died. And while you must be very sad when you miss my company, He took me away from you for a reason, that you must strive hard to find out, for this reason takes a great cost too - for me and for you. I have lived a happy and blessed life. I thank God for putting me in this family. Although not Christians, the setting has allowed me to meet God in a very particular way, to know God as a very loving Father just like how my earthly father loves me, to talk to God just as how I chat with my mother, to love God as I learn to love my sister, and to laugh around with God just like how I laugh around with my brother. I thank God for giving me a most lovely boyfriend, who loves and protects me and strives so hard to follow God too. I thank him for bringing me back to God when I was lost. I also thank God for never for a moment stopping Your guidance. It has been all His planning, I can see it clearly, from the point when I switched to Co-ed, when I went to EDIT, when I went to Concord, when I went to UCL in London... His plans have been so clear, that even I have always had my earthly struggles, nothing can get into the way of His plan. Such a massive force and energy in my life. I know I have not lived out at my best as a good testimony, but please fit this broken piece of mine into Your great work, let me participate in Your kingdom. This is my last last wish.
Dont know if words are expressing myself, as my emotions are overflowing now. I still have several things to say to a few people in my life...
Dad and mom, if you happen to read this, don't be mad at God. As He loves me so much that He even died for me, He must have taken away my earthly life for a reason. But don't worry, I am now living eternally in His kingdom, and it is all joy, peace and love here. Indeed, dad and mom, I really really really hope to see you again in heaven. My heart cries out loud every time when I pray for this in my life. This is still one of my greatest desires in life as I love you two so much.
Same for you Mei. The empty hole in your heart that you and I are so clearly aware of... Don't look for it in human beings or your love relationships, no one can mend your broken heart except the Father above. Don't run away from Him again thinking you are find another way out. Commit to Him first, and He will meet His promise of filling your soul. I pray that you will soon experience and real overflowing love in Him one day, the feeling and life of heaven. And I pray that we will one day be eternally connected in God. If I won't be seeing you again, I will probably miss you too much...
Bro, sorry for not having been ready to share to you about this amazing God. I regret for not putting a lot of time in loving and caring for you. You have a very soft and loving heart, and I pray that you will be inspired by God's love, so you can find the true faith, hope and love without being polluted by the world. Sorry but I have so much so much unspoken emotions and love for you...
Jun... sorry for not being able to walk this remaining path of life with you. That will be my greatest regret in life. I love you so so much because you share my heart, my soul and my spirit. I can't imagine the damage in you now, but God will eventually heal it. Have faith in Him, there must be something you need to do without me. Please complete it and let me wait for you patiently in heaven. We will definitely see again. Please love with all your heart all those you serve for me as well. I miss you so much.
Schu... (while you are seeing me crying like a pighead now...) thank you for all the love and patience you have for me. I thank God for you, for your willingness and ability to listen and see, and not just hear and look. I pray that the seeds of God will be spread through you to your family and people around you. Please never never give up God just as God would never give you up. I regret for not being able to be your bridesmaid and to love your children, and regret that we only managed to know and love each other for such a short period in life. But all is enough for me to wait for you in heaven.
Cynnn... don't know what to say to you. Life is probably too short for me to share with you, please live out life with all your best and remember every bit of it so we can talk for ages in heaven. I will miss you so much. But I have all the faith in God and in you, that you will live your life beautifully and eventually meet your purpose of life. Please also take care of Jun for me. Afterall you are the sister whom I have my heart closest to in this world... Really miss you.