So, I decided to halt the plan.
Now I am trying to keep reading His words and praying to Him. And at the same time, figure out what ear poo is blocking my hearing for God's words and guidance. I need His peace to calm me down once again. And I need to practice faith in Him that He has His perfect time, and His plan for me will not be delayed for a second so I don't have to push Him or myself through - real faith that will not shiver when I learn that friends are getting good offers or when I am rejected again; and real gratefulness that there is enough good things in life that I can keep praising about and that I can worship Him at all times. Sorry God for my small faith, please help me to grow.