Photo updates on our last group gathering! Thank you my "Potters" (we call ourselves Potters for some silly reason haha) for sharing a term of laughters and tears with me :)))
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There are sooooo many things that I want to thank Papa God!! I've been praying to thank Him, and let me share this joy with you :DDD Thank you Papa that You are with me this week, given me so much energy, so I could have worked through so much for my dissertation! Although I have not done "a lot lot" of work, the fact that I am enjoying my work is sooo... good.. :DD I still doubt if this topic is what you want me to work on, it was the only thing I heard after many prayers to You, but it's weird... Anyway, I just count on You to lead me through the journey!! :) Thank you Papa for giving Schu soooo much STRENGTH!!! She has not been sleeping much, but has accomplished soo much this week! You are making the seemingly-impossibles happen on her :DD I'm truly excited for her, and I just think she's amazing! This creature of Yours is amazing hahahaha! Thank you Papa Denden just had her graduation on a sunny day! Thank you for Your love and preparation for her, so she can stay with us in London, and been giving so much support to the fellowship :) Thank you ah Pa for making this sis laugh and so lovely :DD Pastor Wong was right! We have been made to ENJOY JOY! And we are made to laugh having restored our relationship with You <3 Thank you Papa for giving us +2 bro! It was his birthday (and Ash's and Gene's haha). Just want to thank you for letting him experience so much that I feel he has grown up a lot again in this new academic year :) +2 is being a big bro in fellowship now (as well as Wilo :D), and taking care of many bros!! :D With so many siss and less support for bros, I'm really grateful that You have prepared these bros for us. They are just so important! :))) Thank you Papa this friend of mine, Lilian, has so much power to explore!! Thank you for giving her a heart that appreciates Your creation so much! And that she is willing to learn more about You, and to accept the love and care from Your children :DD Thank you Papa for my sister Boanne. How close she is to Your heart! And I thank You for installing this emptiness in our hearts so we know the joy of meeting You, and we have an internal compass to lead our way to You. Please flourish her heart!! :))))) Thank you Papa for bros and siss' care for me. Feeling so blessed always with them around!!! Seriously, don't think I can survive this world without this love of You... Last but not least, thank you Papa for always listening and answering my prayers... My heart was far from You, but whenever I see You trying a new way to speak to me and comfort me, maybe through a conversation with a bro or sis, or through a random thought in mind captured during the leadership training course at church, or through an email from a sis encouraging me with emails that her father once wrote to her, my heart just cannot hold back the tears. You are trying too hard my Father! And I am too stubborn, being stucked in my discontent in life... You are always like that... always making me cry... :'( mehhhh <3 See Denden's graduation at Imperial College this wednesday :) Just a coincidence..... Schu is playing a hymn now and it echoes what I am typing exactly... Hahahaha!! This was the game we played during fellowship time last Saturday! In groups we had to create a basket/nest/bin/something to catch a raw falling egg and protect it from breaking (the eggs were half boiled indeed haha). One member in the group would have to stand on a chair and aim, and another would lie on the ground and hold the basket-thingy on their face to catch, so a slight mistake would result in the bro/sis eating the egg... It was interesting seeing different bros and siss with different thoughts in the use of material and how they might protect the egg. Some productions were large, some were strong, some were artistic. If the egg symbolises our life, it would be like us having different perspectives on how we may take control of life and live it. As we aim (make decisions in life), we may have bias as we cannot see a clear birdview from the top. We may hear advices from others seeing you on different angles - some of them may give better advices, others think they do but not. But we may eventually find it confusing and exhausting to think between all these advices, and maybe to keep doubting if our basket can hold the egg... I'm so relieved and blessed as this is one of the gaps where the good news came in to me!! No more thinking what others think about me doing this and that. No more showing off or finding my identity in others' approval of my ability. No more weighing of "goods" and "bads" in every major decision. No more covering up in order to 'survive in this society'. Because Jesus says, "For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it." No more striving to save our own life since we are incapable of doing so. Instead of being driven by fear or greed in the world, why not let yourself be driven by LOVE? You do something because you love. You see the hurt in the heart of the person who may seem offensive to you and have compassion for him. You see the love in whoever may seem annoying to you. You give thanks when a nice thing that is done on you. You appreciate the strength God has given you when you face adverse situations. Make your love be so strong that you have no more fear; so that you can forgive those who have deceived you, and love those whom you are scared they may deceive you. Oh I am always learning every one of these... And I'm so grateful as I am given the chance to learn them every day! :DD Celebrating dor's birthday with our handmade chilli oil (and handmade decorations and labels haha) and mango yoghurt icy cake! Wish you all the best and a more more more loving relationship with Papa! <3
Quite late now but still got an urge to count today's graces!
Felt a bit stressed today. I am getting lost in my revision, not knowing how am I about to finish all the readings before exam, and if I should adopt another way of studying... I then started to doubt if I should go to tonight's outreach gathering (organised by us, student outreach team, to discuss gospel with a yet-to-be bro). I thought as there are five bros and siss serving tonight, I might not be needed so much... That thought flew through my mind for a second, and I knew I had to go - it is for God's kingdom, and I have to seek for His kingdom first above all. I began to export my stress to Jun and became emotional... And that further hindered me from work. :( Yet, the camera that I had been expecting for over a month finally arrived! I had been asking God why the camera was not delivered earlier - I thought it was a lesson of patience and wait, yet I now realised it just arrived at the right time (He is maximising the joy and learnings the camera is bringing as it arrives!). I got distracted by the camera and started to play around with it. My dimness faded, and my schedule messed up! And I felt, since I had already messed up my day and could no longer focus on work - I must go to the outreach gathering! Thank you Papa for cheering me up and helping me make a firm decision :) (Grace number 1 :D) On the way to the bus stop to the gathering, somewhere near Covent Garden, someone patted my shoulder. I turned round to see a lady holding an oyster card - she asked if I dropped it. OH YES! She left and returned in less than a minute, "I think you dropped this as well" It was my debit card :O Not even knowing I dropped something important, God had asked this kind lady to help!! I did not have any cash with me - had I lost my cards, I would not have been able to get the gathering as well... Thank you ah Pa!! (Grace number 2 :D) The gathering went well. Food made by the bros tasted awesome. And we managed to get into some deep discussions, with the yet-to-be bro sharing his struggles between some teachings in philosophy and Christianity. It was not a fierce debate, but I could feel the warm and peaceful atmosphere in the room. I know You were with us :) Thank you Lord :) (Grace number 3 :D) Although I am still lost and do not know how to proceed with my studies, I am now feeling much more peaceful after the day. I know that I've already overcome the habit of defining myself through my studies and achievements. To me, I am not scared of not passing this exam indeed... as even so, I might just not go volunteering in August and come back for re-sits. In that case I could even help out in the coming welcome evening for new students in London. BUT, I am concerned with how people see God through me! My mom would ask why my God did not ask me to study hard (she has yet known God). I would not be being a good testimony by not responding well to God's calling for me as a student. I really want to study for Him!!! So I prayed during shower and was reassured by God in heart that if I try my best, He will cast His blessings on me, and I shall experience a big miracle. I can see the destination - God is winning! Whether I eventually score high in the exams, or am planned by God to not get promoted to next year, people will see that with Him I can work devotedly and determinedly! I have nothing to lose or be afraid of :D *Some pictures from the gathering using my new camera!! Recording every bit of God's world with it :DD Back to blog! Been to Prague last few days, with six more siss from fellowship :D And I really love the habit of waking up early every morning, worshipping together in one of the hotel rooms, and having devotion for half an hour afterwards - we really made a trip book with lyrics of hymns and devotion materials and descriptions to highlighting spots in Prague! Anyway, giving an hour to God every morning is awesome. It reminds us of where we should place our focus and faith upon. And we have been experiencing His company so much throughout the trip! When we departed, Schu had just arrived London Heathrow from Hong Kong and we had to catch a taxi to Dor's place, and got into another taxi to Luton airport. We reached the airport only one hour before our flight, yet we made it to the flight! This happened so many times while we were in Prague... there was once when we had to rush for a train from an outskirt town back to the city, and we spent too much time taking photos at our first spot leaving no time for the remaining sites; when we reached our last site we just ran into the church, took one picture, and ran out... it was so funny when the last girl just got into the church and had her entrance coupon chopped, girls who got in earlier shouted "let's go!" and rushed to our next check point - like in an orientation camp. And the porter at the entrance witnessed the whole process and must be so confused haha! We ran through the whole town centre (that must be more than 20 minutes) and we reached the train station and bought our tickets only one minute before the train arrived. Amazing, we made it. God heard our prayers and blessed our steps throughout the journey! I love the music of our camp in particular. Hymns we sang in the morning kept looping in our minds, and we just sang and doing all the moves together on the street and on train - anywhere and anytime! You can imagine how annoying (and amusing!) when there are seven people blocking the street and adding so much noise (and joy!) to the streets of Prague... Prague is a city of world heritage. While we were visiting the Jewish town, which is one of the largest Jewish settlements that is undestroyed by the Nazis, we discussed so much about our religion and the Jewish history and tradition. I just realised how little I know about the the religions of Jewish and Muslim, and Catholicism and Christianity, their histories and developments, and differences between them. While I do not feel like debating these days (don't know why haha), I enjoy listening to all the intellectually challenging dialogues. These siss just have the eagerness to learn and understand more, because we think what we are asking do matter in life! I thank God for this in our hearts :D Also, we did sooooo many silly and fun things in this trip such as running a photo competition using disposable cameras, putting on facial masks altogether one evening, wearing the same Prague hoodie (in seven different colours) we bought etc. I'll miss the always-laughing crazy yet loving days with these siss sooo much!! Plus Prague is such a beautiful city that I'll miss it so much too!! Morning worship and devotion :) and then ready to go!! View of Prague from Charles Bridge. Clock tower built in the 14th century; and the Prague Palace below. Interior of the cathedral in the Palace One of the most famous churches outside Prague Bone church... outside Prague. We all have the same set of bones, yet unique :) This shooting is sooo close up... as Dor is using a professional wide-angle lens! Post-carding together! Appreciating (and playing with) swans and ducks and pigeons near the river :P always self-photographing haha! Can the seven of us squeeze into this machine and take a passport photo together??? :D As some of us grow to know ourselves better, we tend to find more confrontations between ourselves and friends/communities of the world; and would cherish our bros and siss more as there would be fewer and fewer companions in our life who share the same un-negotiable faith and values. We know this rule well, yet we tend to try to make ourselves acceptable or popular among all friends (especially to those who have non-Christian friends and family), and when it comes to the point when we have to choose only one among the two groups, we would doubt to choose our bros and siss. How much do I treasure my siblings? How much can I give up to submit myself fully to God? I am figuring out my answer... :)
It is so blessed when people you love do love you. And both do not calculate who love and sacrifice more, since we know we shall definitely lose to God under His abundant love and sacrifice. But love just because we find joy and our own identity in loving. Thank you Dordor for always accompanying and taking care of my studytimes and mealtimes. Thank you Schuschu for skyping me everyday. Thank you Cyncyn for all the listening and understanding. Thank you Junjun for all the patience and love and courage to accept and change. I never forget that in my good times (being close to Papa God), Holy Spirit and Jesus and many bros and siss are praying for me, and Papa is happy because I am healthy and well; and in the dips of my life, Papa God has allowed trainings on me and is reminding me of going back to Him. We all need to live like grass, who never gives up its life to the freezing winter nor to people's stepping. We are strong children of God; and we can be strong as we are so loved by God. At the worst of my life, I still have His love - it is not so bad after all:) Dordor and Maymay cooking for me :') Schu is back to Hong Kong so no one is eating with me at home, and Dor grabbed me for dinner!! So much love in the teriyaki salmon, "bo jai" chicken rice and vege rice! So encouraging that the sky is blueeeee! Not so gray and stuffy anymore :D My silly siss :))))
There is a pattern in my recent study habit. Whenever I work at home, I think of this and that get emotional... I prayed to Papa God as I had to hand in my work, my dissertation proposal, soon and could not afford to waste any more days on stupid thoughts... It happened two days ago. And Papa responded after few hours - Dor wanted to study overnight somewhere, not the library and not her home, and so I invited her over!! I was so grateful and excited that the emotions just left me! She has been staying over for two nights and she and Schu together are such supporting angels from God :) Thank you Papa for this, really :) So... I have completed my dissertation proposal, and here we go another essay!!! :D ***Don't stop counting His blessings! Count it yesterday, now and in the next minute; and once started this exercise, you will never see its ending :) Sleeping beauties in the library :P (Of course I do often doze off too.... -0-)
So much to share indeed!!! Got inspired much in the revival camp, and one thing is about my relationship with God. Oh my God, why am I Your daughter??? You see me through thoroughly. You know clearly how imperfect I am, how easy I get irritated by slow internet or failing to find something, how self-centred I can sometimes become... Yet, You accept me as I am, CHOOSE to adopt me as Your daughter, and PROMISED (and You never lie) that You want me as much FOREVER and won't abandon me for whatever sake... In this world, there are relationships where for instance, one loves another so deeply but got little response, or where one does not actually love others but itself. True and pure relationships do present; but seldom is there a place where random people are willing to love each other with all they can offer... Yet love gets responded here, In You. While You have adopted me into this family, You have given me a reason to love You and all kinds of bros/siss who are initially random people, and to experience the overflowing love You give me through Yourself and my bros and siss. You make me know that this love is real. But when someone asked me: are you sure that God loves you very much? If yes, do you have any concrete evidence of God's love for you personally?? It seems easy but indeed hard to answer. Is that about any life-changing experiences with Him? Or is that about realising how much God loves me that He has saved my life with Jesus' blood? (This is like asking how am I sure that my boyfriend or my parents love me...) It reminds me of how God did small things to cheer me up when I was upset days ago in the library; that He, as a most honoured God, would spend time on being sensitive to a little girl's feelings and making her happy... :) There is a love story between every one of us and Him. Imagine Him as a person (a person you love), do I realise HOW MUCH really can this person sacrifice for me - His time, His work, or even His life? How important and prioritised I am in His heart? How hurtful He is when I don't listen to Him or reject Him in my life? What if I deny my relationship with Him - wouldn't He be so painful like I have stabbed on His heart? Just can't imagine anymore, if someone is to die for me, and love me like I am his everything... :O While some of us may be looking for some love relationships in life - is this true and pure relationship what you desire most, deep in your heart? For me, as I get to know how much He loves me, I cannot resist but to surrender my all to love Him completely. Tell me - what more can I ask for? -------------------------------------------------- Sorry for the long post! Still some photos from revival camp that I want to share :D Time alone with God in the field, like Moses :) and worship in the field! A couple from church has volunteered to give up their weekend and cook for us in the camp!! On top of the delicious main meals, we even got tea and night-time dessert. We are just so blessed :') Love the group sharing sessions :) Ministry time at the cellar. Not only siss, but also most of the bros cried out because of release of burden or gratefulness... love the tender hearts in bros :))
Yes we need to focus on the burning cross in our hearts. Yesterday while I was a bit upset, and as I was preparing myself for work in the library... I realised the lip balm in my bag had been squeezed (-3-), and had to rush to toilet for tissue. Becca saw me running past, she then texted me. I told her something was wrong with my laptop that I had to work in the library for the whole day. After half an hour, she came to me before she left library, and gave me this pack of Bueno with a memo... That lit up my heart, really, especially as I later realised I actually got tissue in my bag. Why would I suddenly run to the toilet? Why would she see me? Why would she have a chocolate in bag to be ready to give? Why would she come to me just at the right time? It was like a message from God trying to comfort me. While she knew nothing about my sadness, she listened to God and did this random act. This is how God can use us, on even such tiny but meaningful matter :) I was also very grateful that Dor and Schu waited for me till 9pm in the library, and we could go for supper at Thai Metro together! We had lots of laughter and sharing again - fellowship fellowship :D She inspired me as to how I could pray for Jun: to have a spiritual home. Yes, it is usually the reason why a brother or sister may be attracted to stay in a fellowship and grow in Him, as well as why anyone may want to leave a fellowship - often about the community at church, and less often about the worshipping practices etc. A spiritual home is where we can finally rest in, and be settled to grow. AND THEN, having realised how great it was to have bros and siss studying together; in the late evening, we witnessed the birth of the whatsapp group of THE UCL BUDDIES!!! From now on, we can share our prayer requests, or worries, or location when anyone needs bros and siss to sit next to him and fight together with! And today was the first day of the STUDY FELLOWSHIP! We worked from morning till late night, and we lunched and dined together :D It makes me feel excited that I am expecting my studying time so much!! :DD Praise the Lord for His provision xxx
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