Sorry, I did something not out of love today. Reviewing my three months in this new company, I've really changed my work style and be back myself in lots of ways - in how I challenge status quo and am willing to elevate questions to my boss, in how I present myself the silly side and the pushy side, in how genuine I talk about myself although more skilfully and wisely.
I was much self-suppressed and believed in hierarchy in my last company. I thought I was so junior and was not qualified to make comments or share opinions, and was just in a mere learning stage of life not contributing. I did not dare to initiate or change anything, and I did not know what was the right amount of fact to share about myself or how to make job requests and communicate with colleagues.
And praise to God for bringing me to this new company, which is a more embracing and genuine community. I've learned to open up myself with the right amount of fact but real facts. I've learned to talk in authority of my stance and team in providing knowledge to other teams. I've learned to become closer to what You have created me to be.
However, as I started to often share my stance and opinions and although colleagues are much welcomed and interested in what I think, I began to become judgemental in how others are doing, how things should be done etc. But how would I be qualified to judge coworkers, especially when they are more experienced than I am? I believe I can share my naive thoughts as long as I'm brave enough, but I know I could have been more embracing in what I say, like how my colleagues and You have been embracing me...
Papa, actually I am pretty neutral towards feedback upon me. I genuinely don't mind people appreciating my good deeds and blaming my oversights - I focus more on the thing being done but not the doer. But on the outside, my straight and direct views, and when not wisely presented, may have been seen as judgemental to the person without love. Please Papa, humble me so that I would know how to interact with colleagues, as well as position myself in the community. And also please let me see why I am doing my every job task, and how I am serving You in all these.
I'm so sorry Papa. Please forgive me for I did not know what I was doing. And please protect me from people who may want to attack me on what I did. I lay my faith in You.
In the name of my winning Jesus,
Daughter