You know when I want to conclude about our relationship that I've had enough and I'm scared of showing my dependence on him as he doesn't seem to need me as much as I need him. I no longer want to be so weak and demanding and vulnerable, and put my emotions upon another human being. And I no longer want to put too much pressure on him, so that he may later hide from me, and see me as a source of stress but not where he can lay down in comfort. I may be right about turning away from dependance on humans, but I know this is out of fear and nothing healthy. I'm just disappointed and don't want to open up myself for another injury again. How did You manage to open Your arms so wide when people had always been stabbing on You?? I know I'm delimiting You and Your love and power, but I'm really too insecure and can't stop protecting myself and putting up layers and layers of defence. I'm really too tired to be bold...
Papa, can You help me? I don't want to lie to myself that I don't need him. And in fact it'd be great if I just don't want to need him so much. I know this all could be too much to ask for from a human, as only You may satisfy. So maybe just help me set a boundary to what I can ask from him, and what I must go to You. I realise that I really don't know what is the healthiest relationship between a couple, and I have not understand it well from Your bible... I pray to know more of Your wisdom like what Solomon asked for.
Amen.
Daughter